In other news, even though I am in the late middle of my third quarter at college, I am no closer to knowing what I want to do with my life, which has recently become not great. I am rewriting my 40×40 list, which I imagine will continue to change depending on how accomplishing the 40… accomplishments go. So, if I say, grow a beard, and decide that it wasn’t great, I’ll likely remove it from the list, and replace it with something I find more fitting of such a great list.

Also, I caught my first fish this weekend. That was random. Here’s how the dialogue went.

Benson: I have never caught a fish before.

Benson: (sarcastic after getting robbed) I actually just got robbed.

Benson: (impressed) Dad, you actually tore that worm in half, and both halves are still alive.

Benson: (reeling a fish in) Come on now!

Benson:(after catching a fish) Well, check that off.

Moreover, my intramural softball team didn’t make the playoffs, so I am back to searching for something to care about. At my brother’s graduation party this weekend, I discovered I enjoy leisure sports, such as croquet and bocce. Comparatively speaking, I am much more talented at croquet.

Benson (walking): Thanks a lot.

Girl (holding the door): Sure. Hey, can you help me with something?

Benson: Yes ma’am, how can I help?

Girl: Um… can you tell me where the Office of Minority Affairs is? Is it here, or in Lincoln?

Benson (scratching his head): I think it is in Lincoln, but I am not really sure. I don’t really spend a lot of time there.

I laughed all the way to the Drake, a good block minute of laughing.

All I am saying is this: I brought my baseball glove. There are breakdancers to my left, people throwing ball all around, dogs everywhere, kites in the sky, and picnic blankets on the ground.

I am so excited for this summer!

We drive on parkways and park on driveways because when Leif Ericsson found some green land, whilst exploring the North Atlantic, he called it “Iceland” to discourage the Vikings from invading. Also, he discovered an icy land, which he called “Greenland”, to throw them off even further. So, the Vikings went over to Greenland to pillage, thinking it was a green land where Leif Ericsson was living prosperously, but they only found tundra. So, the Vikings rode back over to Iceland, which they figured was green, and were fixing to pillage. As the head Viking rode off the boat atop his mighty steed, he asked a nearby Icelander for directions to a local bar, as he wanted to drink before pillaging. The Icelander, knowing that they drove on driveways and parked in parkways, and knowing that this man was a Viking, thought about how Leif Ericsson swapped names for Iceland and Greenland to confuse the Vikings, and said, “Um… drive to the end of that… parkway, and then park in that… driveway.” So, the head Viking rode, or drove as the Icelanders called it, to the end of the parkway, and parked his steed in the middle of the driveway, and was killed in a violent car accident, T-boned by an 18-wheeler on his left side. Additionally, because this was before CB radios, all of the Vikings followed suit, until they were all dead, and the Icelanders lived happily ever after. So now, because Icelanders are still afraid of the Vikings, the icy land is still called “Greenland,” the green land is still called “Iceland,” the driveway is still called a “parkway,” and the parkway is still called the “driveway.”

Furthermore, I believe it is also true that the Icelanders, who are quite wise, invented Opposite Day.

Furthermore, Airplane!, which is high on my All-Time Top Ten Films List, has a really absurd title. I cannot decide if the exclamation mark is necessary when noting the title. It seems to make me feel as if I am yelling in the middle of a sentence when I mention it in writing, and that it makes people feel that the sentence has already come to an end, even though it sometimes comes before the predicate. Airplane! makes perfect sense in conversation, but I always seem to make me get rather uncomfortable in text.

But then, or now, I wake up at about 2:00 a.m. on Monday morning, ready to go. So, I hang out for a few hours with my suitemates, who are all unsurprisingly awake, as they do not have to wake at such a ridiculous hour as 5:40 a.m.

It is absurd and almost preposterous that I attempt to get eight hours of sleep on a Sunday. It is quite possible that it is asinine, or utterly ridiculous.

Furthermore, I am very tired of writing academically, and it seems that all of my college papers have been written in a ridiculous manner, generally involving abstract illustrations, of absurd nature. Fortunately, all of the papers I have written have been handed back with big, bold, red A’s on top.

Today, I realized, I could take this idea. Consequently, my Reebok shoes, aged and dirty, will be used for working, walking, and fighting, my Adidas shoes will be used for houselife and weightlifting, and my Pumas will be used for special occasions, as they are very pretty. I discovered, much to my delight, that they are motorsport shoes. That is most excellent.